💙💜💖Mixed Orientation Couples 2
Mixed Orientation Couples invest in non-heteronormative, egalitarian relationships to overcome traditional gender roles (Lahti, 2015)
Bisexual women reported “that the fear of not being enough” was “more present among lesbian women as compared to among male partners” (Maliepaard, 2021).
Bisexual-heterosexual Mixed Orientation couples are more successful than LG-heterosexual couples (Adler & Ben-Ari, 2018; Buxton, 2001, 2004; Goldberg et al., 2018; Lefevor et al., 2021; Legerski et al., 2017; Legerski & Harker, 2018).
“Bisexual-heterosexual [Mixed Orientation couples] may be more successful [because] mutual attraction [is possible]” (Legerski et al., 2017).
— It’s not possible in gay-straight female marriages
— It’s not possible in lesbian-straight male marriages
It’s also possible in bisexual-LG couples, though these have received comparably less research attention.
Heterosexual respondents currently in MSMs believed that the characteristics they attributed to their spouse’s sexual identity were beneficial in some respects. In fact, some participants explained that it was their spouse’s nontraditional gender traits that attracted them to their partner in the first place” (Legerski & Anita Harker, 2018).
Buxton, 2001 — N=3,500 spouses in mixed sexuality marriages
“Most of the [Mixed Sexuality couples who keep their marriages intact] seem to be bisexual-heterosexual couples.”
“Bisexual-Heterosexual Couples were more like “than spouses in gay-heterosexual or lesbian-heterosexual marriages [to] emphasize the couple relationship, illustrating the power of the continued sexual attraction of both spouses in a bisexual-heterosexual relationship to intensify a loving bond and commitment.”
Bisexuals & Sex of Lover
Most bisexual women are in relationships with men (Hoang et al., 2011; McLean, 2004; Tara Pond, 2020; Weinberg et al., 1994).
Yim et al., 2022 (my lab at UCSD 🔱)
We found that most bisexual women were dating men (73.8%) & most bisexual men were dating women (68.6%), χ2(1, N=161) = 21.51, p < .001.
Moreover, regarding lover sexuality preferences, bisexual women were more likely to have bisexual girlfriends (73.3%) & straight boyfriends (76.9%) whereas bisexual men were more likely to have monosexual boyfriends (54.5%) & girlfriends (65.2%), χ2(3, N= 155) = 25.15, p< .001.
Yim, Samantha, Tanzer, N, Satchwell, M, Chen, C, Wu, J, Javidi, D, Hensley, M, Phan, C, & Willis, J (2022). Are You Two Just Friends? Emotional & Sexual Infidelity Across Sexual Orientations. Journal of Humanities & Social Science Research, 5(2), 11–32.
Bisexual Chivalry Preferences (in preparation)
InterSexuality couples that include a bisexual lover are more likely to succeed
(The first article ⬆️)
Table of Contents
☆· Bisexuals & Sex of Lover: Yim et al., 2022
∘ Bisexual Chivalry Preferences (in preparation)
· Sparknotes / Appetizers
∘ Sex, ∘ Media, ∘ Butch-Femme
∘ Romantic Orientation
∘ Avoiding Bi-Erasure Based on Sex of Lover — Daly et al., 2018
Sparknotes / Appetizers
Bisexual parents are more likely to have genetic offspring than LG parents (MacAdam et al., 2011).
About 50% of bisexual parents are married (Goldberg & Gartrell, 2014; Power et al., 2012).
Over 60% of bisexual parents are in an opposite-sex relationship, 4% are in a same-sex relationship, & the rest are single (Gates, 2011).
Bisexuals are the largest group in the LGBTQIA+ community (Diamond & Rosky, 2016; Gates, 2011; Herbenick et al., 2010), there are more bisexual women than bisexual men (Copen et al., 2016; Diamond, 2008; Gates, 2011; Hamer et al., 1993; Hu et al., 1995; Jeffrey Jones, 2021; Sanders, 2020; Vrangalova & Savin-Williams, 2012; Meyer et al., 2021), & most bisexual women are in relationships with men (Hoang et al., 2011; McLean, 2004; Tara Pond, 2020; Weinberg et al., 1994).
Bisexual men are more likely to take the insertive role (Hernandez et al., 1992; Stokes et al., 1997) & gay men are more likely to take the receptive role (both oral & anal) (Stokes et al., 1997). In addition,
bisexual men are more likely to wear a condom when having sex with men than when having sex with women
(Boulton et al. 1992; Li et al., 2008; Stokes et al., 1996; Wold et al. 1998).
Bisexual women orgasm more during sex than straight women (Frederick et al., 2018) & experience more arousal than straight women (Flynn et al., 2017; Persson et al., 2016).
Bisexual women are less likely than lesbians to be portrayed as mothers in TV shows (GLAAD Media Institute, 2019; San Filippo, 2013) because once a bisexual woman has kids her sexuality may be less interesting to a heterosexual male viewer (Fahs, 2009).
Another reason could be heterosexual men’s fetishization of bisexual women (Callis, 2013; Eliason, 1997; Fahs, 2009; Louderback & Whitley, 1997; Yost & McCarthy, 2012), and the belief among some that having a bisexual girlfriend will lead to a sexual encounter with two women simultaneously (Eliason, 1997; Callis, 2013), or gay men’s fetishization of bisexual men due to their perceived masculinity (American Institute of Bisexuality, 2016).
Bisexual men experience more prejudice from heterosexuals than bisexual women (de Bruin & Arndt, 2010; Sarno et al., 2020; Yost & Thomas, 2012), because “…violations of gender norms by men and boys evoke more negative reactions than violations by women and girls” (Norton & Herek, 2013, p. 740).
“Because female same-sex behavior (e.g., walking hand-in-hand with a partner in the street) is tolerated more than male same-sex behavior, women are less sanctioned in public environments” (Song et al., 2022).
The hypersexualised stereotypes of bisexual women may contribute to men believing they are more ‘entitled’ to sex with bisexual women, the result being that bisexual women experience the highest rates of sexual assault or coercion (Worthen, 2017).
Lesbians/ bisexual women are more likely than gay/bisexual men to remain friends with a former lover (Becker, 1988; Hite, 1987; Nardi and Sherrod, 1994; Weinstock, 1997).
Twice as many same-sex female couples were butch-femme dyads (66.2%) with only a third of couples being femme-femme/ butch-butch dyads (33.8%) (Rothblum et al., 2018).
Most butches identify as lesbian compared to only half of femmes, whereas most bisexual women identify as femme (Rosario et al., 2009). Femme women are more expressive (Zheng & Zheng, 2011) & have a lower Waist-to-Hip Ratio (Singh et al., 1999).
Research finds that bisexuals are less likely to report romantic attraction to both sexes than monosexuals were to report romantic attraction to one sex (Clark et al., 2022; Lund et al., 2016).
Among allosexuals, concordance for romantic orientation & sexual orientation was highest for heterosexuals & lowest for bisexuals.
Avoiding Bi-Erasure Based on Sex of Lover — Daly et al., 2018
“[Bisexual women dating men chose] appearance markers that could be classed as lesbian orientated in a bid to illuminate their bisexuality, & [bisexual women dating women chose] feminine appearance signifiers in a bid to avoid being identified as a lesbian” (Daly et al., 2018).
Kwok et al., 2020: Bisexual Women’s Relationship Expectations Based on the Sex of Her Lover
Bisexual women dating men give their boyfriends “more time to communicate their thoughts and feelings” whereas they expect girlfriends “to be more openly expressive and empathic,” with the result being “that women perform more emotional labor in their relationships (e.g., Curun et al., 2017; Siegel and Meunier, 2019)” (Kwok et al., 2020).
“Bi-invisibility is part of bisexual-identifying individuals’ lived experience of minority stress (Feinstein et al., 2019)” (Kwok et al., 2020).
Bi-Parents — Bowling et al., 2018
Single bisexual mothers prioritize their parenting more than single bisexual fathers.
Mixed-Orientation Marriages that are “discordant based on relational orientation (e.g. monogamous, polyamorous) reported more stress and relationship problems.”
“The challenges bisexual individuals face when discussing their sexual identity with their monosexual partners have been documented (Baldwin et al., 2015; Buxton, 2001, 2004) as well as with their children (Bowling, Dodge, & Bartelt, 2017)” (Bowling et al., 2018).
Michael Neath, 2019
A survey of 5,988 bisexual, heterosexual, and homosexual adults, which found that bisexual men viewed monogamy as more of a sacrifice than any other group and less ‘life enhancing’ than did heterosexual or homosexual men (Mark et al., 2014). Despite this, 78.4% of the bisexual men in the study were engaged, married, or dating a single partner.
Jordal, 2011 (N = 14 Mixed Orientation Marriages) [b]
Non-Heteronormativity & Division of Labor
— “Heterosexual and bisexual women in mixed orientation marriages may feel a greater sense of agency that manifests in the division of household labor.”
“Their non-conformity suggests mixed orientation married couples may develop a greater sense of personal agency that they express both within and outside of their marriage.
* “Greater flexibility and negotiation around gender may ultimately deepen feelings of acceptance, understanding, and trust that occur between mixed orientation spouses. “Women in mixed orientation marriages may experience a sense of relief in finding a partner who find their non-conforming appearance attractive.”
They Have Higher Than Average Opposite-Sex Friends
Among mixed orientation couples, there is “a higher incidence of opposite sex friendships among heterosexual spouses” (Jordal, 2011). “…a comfort with opposite sex friendships historically for both spouses.”
Bisexuals are more flexible in their roles in relationship (Bieschke et al., 2007).
If their new bae is a different sex than the previous one, there is also a feeling of discontinuity, because they are forced to move to another community. So they move between two worlds that they are not connected, so some choose not to share their identities for fear of not accepted (Bieschke et al., 2007; Hubbard & de Visser, 2015).
“Straight men accept bisexuals more than straight women, but it’s unclear if this is due to straight men being more bi-affirming or if it’s because bisexual “women are often hypersexualized and used in erotic movies and magazines for heterosexual men, which increases doubts as to whether this is really tolerance (Lytle, Dyar, Levy, & London, 2017; Pereira, Becker, & Gardiner, 2017)” (Zoubkova, 2020, p. 14).
Li & Samp, 2021
[Among those with a heterosexual lover], bisexual individuals indicated higher relational goals, higher dependence power, greater degrees of coming out, more positive partner reactions, and higher relationship satisfaction than lesbian and gay individuals.
Lifetime Use of Birth Control
— Lesbian 45.7%
— Bisexual 77.1%
— Heterosexual 76.4%
Women who have sex with women report more pleasure — in committed relationships and when single — than heterosexual women do (e.g., Beaber & Werner, 2009; Garcia et al., 2014; Henderson et al., 2009; Willis et al., 2018).
Bisexuality is defined as romantic & sexual attraction towards individuals of the same-sex & opposite-sex (Rodriguez Rust, 2002). The bisexual umbrella includes various plurisexual groups (e.g., pansexual, omnisexual, queer, etc) in addition to bisexual identified individuals (Galupo et al., 2017).
Pansexuality is defined similarly, though (compared to bisexuals) it’s more likely that
pansexuals will “not reference gender at all when describing attraction patterns (Belous & Bauman, 2017)” (Sierra Stein, 2020).
Lesbians’ Sexual Choosiness
[Lesbian & bisexual women report] “taking more precautions with women who had sex with men” (Roberta Emetu et al., 2022).
Lesbians distrust bisexual women’s discussions of their sexual histories (Emetu et al., 2022; Hertlein et al., 2016) & bisexual women are more likely to be stereotyped as having an STi (Lytle et al., 2017) due to biases (particularly among lesbians) towards women who have sex with men (Emetu et al., 2022).
“…dating men comes with its own complications such as bi-erasure, heteronormativity and ‘coming out’ to partners (Pond & Farvid, 2017).
People in polyamorous relationships are much more likely to identify as bisexual than heterosexual, particularly women (Balzarini et al., 2018). Bisexual women find value in ethical non-monogamy as it allows for an exploration of bisexual desire without the restriction of ‘compulsory coupledom’ (Farvid, 2015; Gusmano, 2018)” (Tara Pond, 2020).
In a study on plurisexual relationships, Tara Pond (2020) found that “40% of respondents had been in an open or consensually non-monogamous relationship, & 40% of these respondents were in a nonmonogamous relationship at the time of the survey.”
“The perception of bisexual people as promiscuous also leads to the idea that they suffer more often from sexually transmitted diseases, which is not true (Firestein, 1996; Hubbard, & de Visser, 2015; Lytle, Dyar, Levy, & London, 2017)” (Zoubkova, 2020).
“A distinctive feature of contemporary gay men’s relationships is the tendency to form sexually open (nonmonogamous) relationships’’ (Peplau et al., 2004).