The highest rates of anorexia are among people seeking men: straight women & gay men (Abed et al., 2012; Li et al., 2010; Shelby Hughes et al., 2020)
First born girls are especially likely to have more practice with interpersonal interactions than first born boys given that first born boys are more likely to be the only child
Preface: We just started our first in-person quarter at UCSD since Winter Quarter 2020 this week. As such, a few posts will be consolidatory in nature.
Daughters & Dispossession
Mulier Est Finis Familiae
“A woman is the beginning and end of the family” — said the sexist Roman law. Daughters (and women in general) were not permitted to own property. A son was needed to inherit both the estate and the name of his father. One of the greatest, though unsung, films of Natalie Portman’s career — The Other Boleyn Girl — illustrates the importance that old world humans placed on having a son.
The devaluation of daughters in patrilineal societies is associated with laws/ practices/ traditions that prohibited women from carrying on the family name or having any legal claim to inheritance. Thus, daughters were controlled until their father gave away the bride (because property) at medieval sexist weddings.
The marriage of daughters was basically a disinheritance in the ancient world. Enshrining paternal inheritance led to ancillary customs, such as:
- female infanticide
- families investing less in their daughters’ health than their sons’
- sex selective abortions
The devaluation of daughters was likely concurrent with the establishment of marriage & reproduction outside the family as societal norms (prevent inbreeding). Males within a family line were expected to stay together to secure the resources of the fraternal line. As such, when daughters married they moved away from their birth family as they were forced to live in the dwelling of their husband.
Given this sexist reality, why wasn’t Feminism Wave 1 in like 34000 BC?
Because when women were forced to move away with their husbands they were unable to form solidarity and/or maintain a resistance with their female kin networks women’s inability. The logistical consequence of this ancient sexist system was that male groups were easier to form than female groups.
Daughters in these ancient sexist societies couldn’t hope to own property, would receive food last (devalued relative to male sibling(s)), couldn’t even leave the house without asking a male kin for permission, and were considered resource burdens based on the sexist logic that a daughter’s real family would be her future husband’s family… at the age of like 12. #smh Families with both sons & daughters wouldn’t even always recognize their daughter in the family tree.
Taken together, laws prohibiting women from claiming inheritance, carrying on property, carrying the family name, etc, and the desire among male kin groups to have all men in the family stay together to maximize their strength against predators & occasional invading groups, meant that daughters were invested in less than sons.
This eventually led to male biased sex ratios
→ which led to a generation of men who couldn’t marry because of all the women who weren’t born
→ which led to an increase in sex trafficking & other crimes
(for comparison, see research on the increase in crime in China)
→ which led to more authoritarianism & despotism to police male aggression.
In short, the patriarchal sexist norms of many human societies have been the primary contributor to the issues of many human societies. Given that males have held the levers of power in many such societies, men have failed to realize that they created the problems they were trying to solve.
Men who have a daughter as their first child — but not men who have a daughter in general — are more likely to support policies associated with gender equity than men who have a son as their first child (Greenlee et al., 2017). As such, “fathering a daughter as a first child is a critical event in men’s political socialization” (Sharrow et al., 2018, p. 495).
GamerGuy: This is a completely altruistic finding. Men want what’s best for their daughters.
GamerGirl: This finding is more egoistic than altruistic. From a utilitarian perspective, it makes sense that you want your kids to maximize their potential outcomes as it increases the odds that you’ll be well cared for in retirement & your genetic lineage continuing.
Thus, men who have a son first are less likely to support gender equity policies as he may mistakenly believe that any gain by women is going to decrease his son’s optimal success. Men who have a daughter first want her to maximize her potential outcomes, & supporting gender equity policies are consistent with that.
First Daughterhood & Hiring Women
(assume direct quotes)
“Firms led by CEOs who have daughters adopt more socially and environmentally progressive corporate policies (Cronqvist and Yu, 2017). Such firms are also more likely to appoint female directors to their boards than are firms whose CEOs have no daughters(Dasgupta et al., 2018). Venture capital firms led by senior partners who have daughters are also more likely to hire female partners (Gompers and Wang, 2017), with positive consequences for overall firm performance.”
Daughterhood & Political Behavior
“Representatives in the U.S. Congress who have daughters vote more progressively on bills concerning reproductive rights, provisions for working families, and tax-free education (Washington, 2008). In Great Britain, parents of daughters vote more for left-wing parties than do parents of sons (Oswald and Powdthavee, 2010).”
“Parents, particularly fathers, who have only daughters express stronger support for public policies that address gender equity, whereas those policies gained the least support from men who have only sons (Warner and Steel 1999).”
“From a longitudinal dataset on British voting patterns, Oswald and Powthavee (2010)showed that the birth of a daughter can cause parents to move toward the political left, whereas the arrival of a son can do the opposite. Similarly, analysis of data from the U.S.A. National Longitudinal Study of Youth found that having a daughter causes men to weaken their support for traditional gender roles, although the sex of a child had no such effect on women’s attitudes (Shafer and Malhotra, 2011). The exogenous shock of finding out the sex of one’s child at birth, or even in utero, can extend beyond changing attitudes or voting intentions to entire syndromes of behavior.”
First Daughterhood & Spousal Abuse
Men who have a daughter as their first child are less likely to commit domestic violence against their wife/girlfriend (Somville, 2019). Moreover, given that the sex of someone’s firstborn child is conceptualized as a random variable (though it can be influenced by some external factors during pregnancy), these patterns “can plausibly be interpreted as causal effects” (Somville, 2019, p. 6).
Intimate Partner Violence “is observed in not only humans, but also other species; similar behaviors have recently been observed among baboons (Baniel et al., 2017) and chimpanzees (Feldblum et al., 2014), leading biologists to speculate on the genetic and evolutionary origins of IPV” (Somville, 2019, p. 2)
Couples with a first-born son are more likely to stay married (Ichino et al., 2011; Ananat and Michaels 2008; Bedard and Deschênes 2005; Dahl and Moretti 2008; Mammen 2008; Morgan et al. 1988; Spanier and Glick 1981; Prashant Bharadwaj, 2014).
Girls have more siblings than boys as most families continue having children until they have a son (Basu & Jong, 2010 ; Filmer et al., 2008; Haoming Liu, 2013; Kimberly Babiarz et al., 2018; Laura Rahm, 2018; Laura Rahm, 2020; Anukriti et al., 2015). As such, first-born girls are likely to have at least one younger sibling.
Gender Biased Fertility plans mean that first born sons are more likely to have their parents invest all their resources into them than first born daughters. Men want a son more than women want a daughter (Dahl & Moretti, 2008).
Women whose ultrasound reveals a daughter are less likely to be married when she gives birth (Dahl & Moretti, 2008) whereas ultrasounds that reveal a boy lead unwed couples to get married faster (Lundberg & Rose, 2003).
Preston, 1996: “Daughters more likely than sons (regardless of birth order or age differences) to interpret for their parents, but daughters were also far more likely to be bilingual; fluent in both spoken English and American Sign Language.
A similar gender bias has been observed among the general hearing public: women are far more likely to attend sign language classes and to work as interpreters for the deaf.”
Candace West (1979) found that males interrupt females much more often than they interrupt other males, and more often than females interrupt either males or females.
Men want a son more than women want a daughter.
Girls are more likely to be adopted if all biological children are boys (Ashley Gibby & Kevin Thomas, 2018).
Housework in Childhood: Briole et al., 2020
¨Previous studies have shown that female children spend more time than male children doing housework or taking care of other members of the family, and tend to reproduce their parents’ household chores division (Raley & Bianchi, 2006; Solaz & Wolff, 2015). Doing more household tasks may distract children from activities that are more productive for the formation of socio-emotional skills, such as educational activities or parental quality time (Price, 2008).
An increase in family size increases the probability of contributing to household tasks only for girls. This is consistent with evidence showing gender discrimination within families in developed countries in favor of boys (see Bharadwaj et al., 2014).”
Parents’ In-Law Preference
The United States is unique in the history if human civilizations as it has had marriages of choice since Columbus accidentally arrived here while looking for India (Furstenberg, 1966; Reiss, 1980). Importantly, other Western countries gradually worked themselves towards the romantic/choice marriages they have today, but the United States STARTED* that way.
Indeed, arranged marriages have been the primary model of formalized unions through most of human history, and continues in many countries (Apostolou, 2007). This is particularly true in more collectivist parts of the world (Buunk et al., 2010). China, India, and Japan were arranged marriage societies prior to the modern era (e.g., Applbaum, 1995; Mitchell, 1970; Riley, 1994; Xie & Combs, 1996).
Perilloux et al. (2008)
Parents place more importance on their daughter’s mate choice than their son’s. About two-thirds of daughters reported experiencing parental disapproval & receiving curfews compared to a third of sons.
Sidenotes/ Extra/ Excess
Attractiveness vs Money
“Ratings of attractiveness were around four times more sensitive to salary for females rating males, compared to males rating females. These results indicate that higher economic status can offset lower physical attractiveness in men much more easily than in women” Basically, women are more likely to date unattractive men who happen to be wealthy than men would date unattractive women who happen to be wealthy.
Importantly, a key (though sometimes overlooked) reason why women may place greater weight on men’s financial status isn’t because she personally cares about his money or what he can afford for her. Rather, the fact that a male has obtained financial status in a given society may be an indicator that his offspring would likely have traits that enable success in a given social ecology. Thus, the greater priority that women give to how much someone makes may literally have nothing to do with a personal desire for his money for her own wants/needs (which men generally assume).
Age of Remarriage
Men are more likely to remarry than women (Kuzel & Krishnan, 1973; Schoen et al., 1985; Chamie & Nsuly, 1981) & the sex difference in remarriage rates increases with age (Kuzel & Krishnan, 1973; Chamie & Nsuly, 1981; CDC Monthly Vital Statistics Report, 1995).
Men, but not women, increasingly satisfy their age preferences with remarriage (Guttentag & Secord, 1983; Buckle et al., 1996; Fieder & Huber, 2007; Low, 1991).
High status men marry younger mates than low-status men (Low, 1991; Hart et al., 1960; Kenrick et al., 2010; Voland & Engel, 1990; Betzig, 1989).
Younger women and older men have more demanding mate preferences (Munro et al., 2014; Pawlowski & Dunbar, 1999a).
Older women are more likely to conceal their age (Greenlees & McGrew, 1994; Pawlowski & Dunbar, 1999b).
The older the father is when having a child the higher the likelihood his offspring will have genetic mutations, the lower the likelihood they’ll reproduce, and the shorter their lifespan (Arslan et al., 2017; Kong et al., 2012; Pauline Vuarin et al., 2020).
High paternal age increases “offspring risk of developing neurodevelopmental disorders, such as autism (Kong et al. 2012) and attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) (D’Onofrio et al. 2014), and also lower physical attractiveness (Huber and Fieder 2014; Woodley of Menie and Kanazawa 2017)” (Michael Anthony Woodley of Menie, Yr. et al., 2017).
Sex & Linguistics (in progress for future piece)
Wendy Lee Wen Ni (2019)
In 2007 the Higher Education Research Institute reported that 94% of first year college students used social networking websites (HERI, as cited in Junco et al., 2011, p. 2) with Facebook reported as the most popular social networking website. When Mastrodicasa and Kepic (2005) surveyed a large research university, they found 85% of students had Facebook accounts (Mastrodicasa & Kepic, 2005, as cited in Junco et al., 2011, p. 2).
Hofer (2008) studied 407 first-year and sophomore students at an American liberal arts college. Participants completed an online survey and were also asked to forward a web link to their parents to participate. The researcher found students reported communicating with their parents 13 times a week, on average twice daily (p. 14). The most common modes of communication were cell phones then email. Female students communicated with their parents more frequently than male students and, similarly, parents initiated contact with daughters more often than with sons. Most students were satisfied with the level of communication with their parents; however, many wanted more contact with their fathers. Parents were also satisfied with the level of communication with their students (Hofer, 2008).
Technology allows parents to be overinvolved in their college-aged child’s life, which does not always benefit the student. Researchers have found that Millennials are over reliant on technology and, as a result, have “stunted interpersonal (face-to-face) skills” (Elam, Stratton & Gibson, 2007, p. 22) and multi-tasking tendencies, which have led to shortened attention spans (Elam et al., 2007). Similarly, Hofer (2008) contented that parental intervention is facilitated by technology and that this intervention may be detrimental to the student’s development
Parents in this study reported supporting their daughters in many areas, but did not focus on providing academic support.
Lee, Wendy. W. N., Wong, Y. X., & Yee, K. W. (2019). Parenting practices, self-control and adolescents rebellion from single and intact family (Doctoral dissertation, UTAR).
Most of the adolescents from separated family are staying with their mothers in which also found that the adolescents from single-mother family tend to have a closer relationship with mother especially for daughter (Mooney et al., 2009).
Mooney, Oliver, and Smith (2009) have noted single-parent family can more beneficial to adolescents’ development than the intact families with a higher level of marital or relationship conflict between parents. A lower level of marital and relationship conflict between parents can increase parents’ psychological wellbeing (Mooney et al., 2009). Parents with positive psychological well-being are less likely to perform punishment behavior; thus it may reduce the risk of adolescent to involve in deviant behavior (Hoskins, 2014).
Ganiron et al. (2017) revealed that rebellion causes the adolescents to engage in self-destructive behavior such as refuse to do school work and involve in high-risk excitement. Moreover, they tend to reject valued relationship, rebel against the activities and own self-interest.
— Among men in prisons, 9.3% were sexual minorities
— Among women in prison, 42.1% were sexual minorities (Ilan H. Meyer et al., 2017)
Ride Services & Sex/Gender
Uber female drivers receive lower scores after rejecting unwanted advances, flirtatious comments, or Facebook friendship requests from male passengers (Lee, 2019).
Ge et al., 2016: Female passengers report flirty drivers who take longer routes & drive through the same intersection multiple times, maximizing his time to flirt with her while costing her money.
Ge et al. (2020): a female passenger generally pays more because Uber drivers start the trip before picking her up & end the trip AFTER dropping her off. The requirement of app interface enables drivers to end her trip several minutes/miles after it originally ended.
For instance, Uber drivers are more than twice as likely to cancel rides for passengers with a “black-sounding” name compared to the average (Gee et al., 2020).
19 Reasons WhxY (XXtra notes)
A key a sex difference in support networks is that women are more likely than men to have someone available to talk to when they are distressed.
Patriarchal Male Socialization empathizes independence & invulnerability discourages men to ask for help when they need it. As a result they’re unlikely to have developed/nurtured these components of their social networks in the first place.
Another result of these patriarchal messages is that men are less likely than women to:
- believe in the value of preventive health care
- have a regular physician
- to perform self-exams
- to be concerned about eating healthy
- Women visit the doctor more often
- Women are more likely to search for health info online
- Women have greater genetic resistance to some diseases than men. Women have a greater immune response to infection than men.
Ironically, men’s weaker immune system means it’s less likely to attack their own bodies causing a higher rate of autoimmune diseases. As a result, men are less vulnerable than women to diseases specific to the immune system, such as lupus and rheumatoid arthritis.
2nd Shift For Women
- Women are most likely to gain weight when they get married. Having to do additional tasks around the residence that the husband isn’t doing takes away from women’s fitness/exercise time that she had before marriage.
Women use sunscreen more often than men (Halmon et al., 2015)
Holman, D. M., Berkowitz, Z., Guy Jr, G. P., Hawkins, N. A., Saraiya, M., & Watson, M. (2015). Patterns of sunscreen use on the face and other exposed skin among US adults. Journal of the American Academy of Dermatology, 73(1), 83–92.
Women More Likely to Be insured
We Are The Daughters
Courtney Martin, 2007 (from Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters)
“We must get A’s. We must make money. We must save the world.
We must be thin. We must be unflappable. We must be beautiful.
We must be perfect.
We are the girls with anxiety disorders, the anorexics, the bulimics, the overexercisers, the overeaters, with filled appointment books & five-year plans…
We are the peacemakers, the do-gooders, the givers, the savers.
We are on time, overly prepared, well read, witty, intellectually curious, always moving…
We pride ourselves on getting as little sleep as possible and thrive on self-deprivation. We drink coffee, a lot of it. We are on birth control, Prozac, and multivitamins…
We are the daughters of the feminists who said, “You can be anything,” and we heard, “You have to be everything.”
And we must make it look effortless.
This quintessentially female brand of perfectionism goes on all over America, not just in suburban enclaves but in big cities, mountain towns, trailer parks.
And perfect girls abound in Vancouver, Rio, Tokyo and Sydney.
Their compulsion to achieve constantly, to perform endlessly, to demand absolute perfection in every aspect of life is part of a larger, undeniable trend in the women of my generation all over the world. ”
— Courtney Martin, 2007
Girls are more likely to use relationsal aggression (Archer, 2004; Cairns et al., 1989; Donoghue and Raia-Hawrylak, 2016; Zimmer-Gembeck, Nesdale, et al., 2013) & are more relationally victimized than males (Crick & Bigbee, 1998; Crick, Ostrov, & Kawabata, 2007) as relational aggression facilitates the formation of peer relationships due to others wanting to affiliate with high-status peers (e.g., The Plastics) (Vaillancourt & Hymel, 2006; Vaillancourt & Krems, 2018).
But in adulthood wives are more likely than husbands to use relational aggression (Panagiota Ira Bitsola & Kyranides, 2021).
Casper et al., 2020
- “Popular early adolescent girls more relationally aggressive & this relational aggression leads to increased popularity over time (Rose, Swenson, & Carlson, 2004). This savvy navigation of the peer context requires social skills that are perhaps admired by peers, thus explaining the increase in popularity over time. Thus, evidence points to relational aggression as both a product (Bellmore, Villarreal, & Ho, 2011; Ferguson et al., 2016) and a source of popularity (Rose et al., 2004).”
Ruth & Naomi
Ruth also shows kindness towards Naomi by staying with her and sharing food with her, rather than going to find a better life elsewhere. During difficult times we can still show kindness toward others and offer support and friendship to those who may be struggling.
As a bisexual avatar in MMORPG, my aesthetic variation has been consistent with research, such that I had a different general aesthetic while dating that straight Elf guy npc (Huxley et al., 2011 → male partner) than I do now while with my lesbian girlfriend npc (Rothblum, 2010 → female partner).
Women’s short hair deconstructs the male gaze & threatens one of the phenotypic pillars of patriarchy. Indeed, a short haircut is one of the historically reliable ways to replace the male gaze with the female gaze (Luzzatto & Gvion, 2004; Huxley & Hayfield, 2012; Rifkin, 2002).
Bisexual avatars’ visual identity is “free from constraints & an unregulated identity” reflecting the potential of bisexual fluidity “to break down identity categories (Barker et al., 2009)” that remain attached to patriarchal norms (Hayfield et al., 2013).
Moreover, there are more bisexual women in relationships with shorter lesbian gfs than shorter bisexual bfs.
The mother-son age gap is likely larger for gay men than straight men as gay men are more likely to have older brothers & most of their older brothers are straight.
Shelby Hughes et al., 2021
Reputation info affects how men view someone due to paternal uncertainty 2. The people lesbians are trying to attract aren’t concerned about that/ won’t be as influenced by rumors-gossip as straight men = Lesbians are less likely to criticize another woman wearing sexy clothes.
A woman who has her kids in her 20s may have 1 or have 2 a few years apart. If not until her 30s, there’s a natural increase in the likelihood of multiples (twins to quadruplets).
Women live longer than men in every country assessed
Black Girl Hair
Black women with curly hairstyles were evaluated less favorably (perceived as less professional) than White women with curly hairstyles & thus less likely to get interviews.
Black women with natural hairstyles, such as curly afros, braids or twists, are often perceived as less professional than Black women with straightened hair, particularly in industries where norms dictate a more conservative appearance.
Stated differently, curly hair is only an issue if it’s your naturally occurring hairstyle… because Black.
Lesbians value IQ in a partner more than straight women (Glass, 2019; Lippa, 2007).
Gay men value financial status in a partner more than straight men (Glass, 2019; Lippa, 2007).
Lesbians place significantly less value on physical attractiveness in a partner than straight men and women do (Bailey et al., 1994; Buss, 1988; Russock, 2011; Smith et al., 2011; Smith & Stillman, 2002).
The highest rates of anorexia are among people seeking men: straight women & gay men (Abed et al., 2012; Li et al., 2010; Shelby Hughes et al., 2020).
Among women, lesbians are most likely & straight women are least likely to display their wealth/ resources in attempts to attract or retain a mate (VanderLaan & Vasey, 2008; Neto et al., 2012; Lawson et al., 2014). Straight males engage in conspicuous consumption fitness displays more often (Miller, 2000, 2010).
Lesbians tend to be more upset by their partner ‘s sexual infidelity (as well as heterosexual men) whereas gay men show greater anxiety at the idea of a partner ‘s emotional infidelity (eg Bevan and Lannuti 2002; Buunk et al., 1996; De Souza et al., 2006; Dijkstra and Buunk 2001; Harris, 2002).
“men rated blond hair as most sexually attractive and women rated both blond and brown hair equally as attractive as red hair” (Janif et al., 2015)
Cross culturally, women tend to have a lighter skin tone than men (Anita Sitek et al., 2018; Banerjee, 1984; Firooz et al., 2012; Jablonski & Chaplin, 2000; Kalla & Tiwari, 1970; Kalla, 1973; Madrigal & Kelly, 2007; van den Berghe & Frost, 1986; Viren Swami et al., 2008).
“…those with stable ethnic dating preferences (preferring to consistently date either a same-ethnicity or a different-ethnicity partner throughout high school) maintained these preferences over time” (Chan & Kiang, 2021, p. 76).
Bisexual women “would be exposed to a greater range of natural genitalia, thereby seeing their own as more normative, whereas women who only have sex with men would not have such exposure and instead, may only have exposure to false images of female genitalia and may therefore have less satisfaction with their own genital appearance” (Juliana Guitelman et al., 2019).
Given that women’s level of satisfaction with their genitals is associated with better sexual function (Algars et al., 2011), it’s easy to understand why bisexual women orgasm more during sex than straight women (Frederick et al., 2018) & experience more arousal than straight women (Flynn et al., 2017; Persson et al., 2016).
Nelson et al., 2020: “Even when female testosterone is pathologically raised in polycystic ovarian syndrome the values are still a fraction (˜1/20th) of that observed in males.”
More men (assigned at birth) transition into women than vice-versa (Bao & Swaab, 2011). Just as there are more male-to-female transsexuals than female-to-male transsexuals (Bao & Swaab, 2011), more men gamers genderswap to play as women avatars than women gamers genderswap to play as men avatars (Ducheneaut et al., 2006; Isaksson, 2012). In real life, everyone starts out as a developing female in gestation; in videogames, everyone starts out as a digital male in the character creation interface when starting a new game.
A meta-analysis found that gay men are 34% more likely than straight men to be lefties, & lesbians are 91% more likely than straight women to be lefties (Lalumiere et al., 2000). Gays & lesbians are both more likely to be righties than lefties, but they’re more likely to be lefties than straight subjects. Genetics: Siblings of transgender individuals are more likely to be transgender than siblings of non-transgender individuals (Gomez-Gil et al., 2010).
Men Are Becoming More Violent Towards Women Around The World
By my spirit sister, Liz Plank, MSNBC Opinion Columnist (4.26.2021)
[100% direct quotes]
“This pandemic hasn’t just been harder on women — it’s been deadlier for women. In February, a woman and her mother were reportedly shot and killed by the woman’s boyfriend in Dallas; he then broadcast his apology live on Instagram before dying by suicide.
In the United States, preliminary data suggests that the number of men accused of killing their wives or girlfriends has doubled in some counties, while calls to domestic violence hotlines and to the police for domestic abuse soared, according to a 2020 analysis.
There’s no way to sugarcoat it: Men on a global scale are increasingly killing the women they purport to love.
And it’s not just in America. There’s no way to sugarcoat it: Men on a global scale are increasingly killing the women they purport to love. According to a March report by the World Health Organization, the most widespread form of violence experienced by women around the world is preventable. It’s not coming from the proverbial boogeyman in the alley — it’s coming from men they know and perhaps share their bed with, otherwise (and rather euphemistically) known as intimate-partner violence.
Butch & Femme
Our results indicate that butch lesbians offer and request a pattern of partner attributes different from those of heterosexual men and women. Butch lesbians’ offers and requests were similar to those of femme lesbians, supporting the suggestion by Bassett and colleagues (2001) that butch lesbians’ mate preferences may be more similar to those of femme lesbians than to those of heterosexual men. Specifically, results of chi square analyses indicate that both butch and femme lesbians place a premium on honesty above all other measured traits. By contrast, partner attributes offered and requested by heterosexual men and women revolved around status measures, with heterosexual women desiring status and heterosexual men offering partner status. The finding that both butch and femme lesbians emphasized honesty the most in their personal ads is interesting, as both theoretical and empirical research contends that heterosexual women tend to seek honesty and sincerity in their romantic partners (Davis 1990; Deaux and Hanna 1984; Cicerello and Sheehan 1995). In fact, honesty was requested by 34% of butch and 36% of femme lesbians (compared to 20% of heterosexual women and 9% of heterosexual men), and it was the most requested attribute by both butch and femme lesbians. While similar research has not previously been conducted with lesbians, it is notable that heterosexual women did not emphasize finding partners who are honest to the same degree that lesbians did. Because women tend to be more emotionally focused than men in relationships (Troll and Fingerman 1999), a partnership of two women may place particular emphasis on sharing feelings, for which honesty is key. As Levitt and colleagues noted in their research (Hiestand and Levitt 2005; Levitt 2006; Levitt and Hiestand 2004), for butch lesbians, being authentic to their own sense of gender and for femmes, being visibly lesbian were important aspects of their identities. Thus, finding partners who were also honest about their internal and external congruence may be paramount.
“Female masculinity” is not an imitation of male masculinity, rather it is a specific gender with its own rich cultural history. As a result, it is not surprising to finding that butch lesbians do not share the same attractions as heterosexual men (Halberstam, 1998)
Previous research (Deaux and Hanna 1984; Gonzales and Meyers 1993) has confirmed that heterosexual women emphasize financial status of potential partners, as well as partner height, which may be a proxy for status, just like race (Rudder, 2014)
Heterosexual women requested financial status and height more than did the other three groups (Smith, Konic, Tuve, 2011)
This finding is supported by research in both evolutionary psychology and social role theory, suggesting that heterosexual women, but not heterosexual men, place a premium on partner status. Evolutionary psychologists suggest that women seek partners who can provide financial resources for their family (Buss et al. 2001; Wiederman 1993), while researchers who embrace a social roles explanation suggest that because of gender stereotypes and economic discrimination, women may seek men who can provide monetary resources they cannot (Eagly 1987; Eagly and Wood 1999; Kasser and Sharma 1999). Given that butch women are still women and, as a result, are likely to have lower pay than heterosexual men, it is not surprising that they did not offer financial status.
Femme lesbians request IQ more than butch lesbians offer it (Smith et al., 2011)
Previous research has found that lesbians place less emphasis on attractiveness, by neither offering attractiveness nor requesting it in their personal ads (Bailey et al. 1997; Deaux and Hanna 1984; Gonzales and Meyers 1993; Smith and Stillman 2002a). This finding was supported by the current study (Smith, Konic, Tuve, 2011)
heterosexual women were most likely to offer physical appearance & butch lesbians were least likely to emphasize their own attractiveness in seeking potential romantic partners (Smith, Konic, Tuve, 2011).
This difference may be attributable to heterosexual women’s view that their physical appearance is a key form of capital in their romantic relationships (Cicerello and Sheehan 1995; Davis 1990; Deaux and Hanna 1984; Gonzales and Meyers 1993; Rajecki et al. 1991). In contrast, butch lesbians’ tendency to deviate from traditional feminine gender roles in their physical presentation (Levitt and Hiestand 2004) may lead them to de-emphasize their own physical appearance in searching for romantic partners.
similarities between butch lesbians and heterosexual men did not emerge (Smith, Konic, Tuve, 2011).
heterosexual women are more likely to offer physical attractiveness when seeking a boyfriend than heterosexual men when seeking a girlfriend, and femme lesbians are likely to offer physical attractiveness when seeking a girlfriend than butch lesbians when seeking a girlfriend (Smith, Konic, Tuve, 2011).
Femme lesbians offered financial/professional status at similar low rates as heterosexual women.