Bisexual Parenting
BiCupid is the best dating site for heterosexuals with a bisexual preference
Tate & Patterson, 2019: “The social and economic barriers to same-sex parenthood could possibly explain why
bisexual women whose last partner was male have reported parenthood aspirations that are similar to heterosexual women, but
bisexual women whose last partner was female have reported results similar to lesbian women (Riskind & Tornello, 2017).”
Any couple with a bisexual member is disproportionately more likely to be interracial (Yim et al., 2022).
Figure 1. Bisexual women dating men are far more likely to date interracially than bisexual women dating women, and bisexual men dating women are far more likely to date interracially than bisexual men dating men. In short, bisexuals’ interracial preference is highest when reproduction is potential outcome of copulation.
Figure 2. Heterosexuals’ rate of interracial dating is even lower once those dating bisexuals (InterOrientation; heterosexual-bisexual) are separated from MonoOrientation (heterosexual-heterosexual) dyads. (Note: Figure 2 reflects *currently* interracial daters & Figure 1 reflects *ever* interracial daters)
→ Gay men prefer interracial same-sex lovers
→ Bisexual men prefer interracial opposite-sex lovers
InterOrientation courtship increases heterosexuals’ rate of interracial dating & decreases bisexuals’ ~10–15%.
Lesbians & bisexual women’s rates of interracial courtship aren’t as influenced by being in a MonoOrientation or InterOrientation couple as much as gay/bisexual men’s.
Figure 3. Given that Mixedish people come from interracial couples, multiracial people may be more likely to have parents of different orientations.
Of all multiracial participants, bisexuals had the largest proportion.
Bisexual Parenting — Manley & Ross, 2020
“Social attitudes toward bisexuals aren’t improving as fast as those toward lesbian/gay individuals (Dodge et al., 2016).
Bisexuals want to be parents as much as — if not more than — lesbian/gay individuals (Gates et al., 2007; Paiva et al., 2003; Ross & Dobinson, 2013). Children raised by bisexual parents are more likely to be open-minded (Jones & Jones, 1991).
Bisexual parents are more likely to raise their kids to be inclusive & see nonheteronormative sexual and gender identities as valid (Budnick, 2016; Goldberg et al., 2019; Manley et al., 2018).
Bisexual mothers in particular often felt that lesbian communities were exclusive or unwelcoming to them (Bartelt et al., 2017; Kangasvuo, 2011; Manley et al., 2018; Ross et al., 2012). Indeed, bisexual parents may desire bi-affirming family-friendly spaces and groups, but feel that they must choose between heteronormative parenting communities and nonparent or bi-exclusive Lesbian/Gay communities (Manley et al., 2018; Ross et al., 2012).
Goldberg et al. (2019) and Tasker and Delvoye (2015) documented how bisexual women in relationships with men may place their sexuality “on the backburner” after giving birth. Additionally, women — particularly women with less social privilege — may view bisexuality as conflicting with ideas of “good motherhood” and intentionally distance themselves from bisexual identity, attractions, or personal histories (Budnick, 2016; Goldberg, Manley, et al., 2019). Nevertheless, many bisexual parents maintained their sexual identities (Bartelt, Bowling et al., 2017; Goldberg, Manley, et al., 2019; Tasker & Delvoye, 2015).
Biological parenthood is most common for bisexual women (Bowling et al., 2019; Brewster et al., 2014; Power et al., 2012).
Using nationally representative data from the 2002 and 2006–2010 in the USA, Brewster et al. (2014) compared heterosexual (n = 14,981), bisexual (n = 593), and lesbian women’s (n = 210) parenthood. A majority (56%) of self-identified bisexual women aged 20–44 were parents — 50.2% of bisexual women had only biological children, 1.1% only adoptive, 1.6% both biological and adoptive, 0.9% social (i.e., no legal ties), and 2.3% combined legal and social parenthood. Additionally, there is some evidence that the high proportion of bisexual women who are biological parents in their adult years may be in part accounted for by higher rates of adolescent pregnancy among these mothers.
Specifically, a meta-analysis found that bisexual adolescent girls are more likely than their heterosexual counterparts to become pregnant, whereas bisexual adult women were less likely to be pregnant than heterosexual counterparts (Hodson, Meads, & Bewley, 2017).
Others assumed that bisexual parents are heterosexual or LG based on partner gender (and sometimes gender expression), and opportunities to disclose were not readily available (Goldberg, Ross, Manley, & Mohr, 2017; Ross et al., 2012). Bisexual parents in some studies have feared that correcting others’ assumptions about their identities would have negative repercussions or upset others (Goldberg, Allen et al., 2018; Goldberg, Ross, et al., 2017; Tasker & Delvoye, 2015). However, allowing others to assume that they are heterosexual or not bisexual can be uncomfortable for many, and bisexual parents have also voiced discomfort or guilt because they are able to pass as heterosexual (Manley, Goldberg, & Ross, 2018; Ross et al., 2012)
A study of currently childless, partnered women (35 bisexual; 53 lesbian; 108 heterosexual) who desired to become a parent in the future found that bisexual women reported lower partner expectations (i.e., anticipated less involvement and support from their partner after becoming parents) compared to heterosexual women, but not compared to lesbian women (Simon et al., 2018). The authors suggest that bisexual women’s uniquely invisible status and the pressure to adopt a monosexual identity may in part account for lower partner expectations.” [Though it didn’t differ from lesbians]
LB & Straight Women Envisioning Future Parenthood — Simon et al., 2018
“There are between 2 and 3.7 million LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, and other gender and sexual minorities) parents with children under the age of 18 in the United States (Gates, 2015). Bisexual and lesbian women make up slightly less than half (48%) of these parents (Gates, 2013). However, current research suggests that there is still a large disparity between bisexual and lesbian women who are parents (48%) compared to heterosexual women who are parents (74%; Stotzer, Herman, & Hasenbush, 2014).
With changing social attitudes toward LGBTQ people broadly (e.g., marriage for same-sex couples; Obergefell v. Hodges, 2015), it is of interest to explore factors that contribute to how bisexual and lesbian women envision future parenthood to help explain this disparity.
Lesbian women, however, had a greater preference to work full-time during parenthood and wanted a permanent position before becoming a parent compared to both bisexual and heterosexual women.
Riskind and Tornello (2017) found that bisexual women and men’s parenting desires & intentions more closely resembled those of heterosexual individuals than they did of LG individuals.
Given the cost of raising children (Grönlund, 2007), exploring how professional and economic preferences impact future parenthood may also help to explain the differences in parenting numbers between BLH women (Riskind & Tornello, 2017). BL women report a lower income compared to heterosexual and gay male couples (Fisher, Gee, & Looney, 2016). In addition, among BL women, reported income is lower among bisexual than lesbian women, which could influence how these women navigate career, parenting, and financial decisions (Badgett, 1995; Cerf, 2016; Cushing-Daniels, & Yeung, 2009).
Finally, lesbians (51%) were more likely to report desiring a permanent & fulltime position before parenthood than bisexual (26%) or heterosexual (32%) women.
A bisexual woman partnered with a woman may be “counted” as lesbian, such as in Census data tracking only sex of partner rather than sexual identity; Cianciotto, 2005).”
Simon, K. A., Tornello, S. L., Farr, R. H., & Bos, H. M. (2018). Envisioning future parenthood among bisexual, lesbian, and heterosexual women. Psychology of Sexual Orientation and Gender Diversity, 5(2), 253.
Desire for Parenthood in Context of Other Life Aspirations Among LG & Heterosexual Young Adults — Tate & Charlotte Patterson, 2019
Research has reported discrepancies in family formation aspirations as a function of sexual orientation, particularly for men (Shenkman, 2012; Riskind and Tornello, 2017). For instance, Riskind and Tornello (2017) found that 20% of gay men reported desire for parenthood, but no intention to pursue parenthood. This difference occurred in only 5% of heterosexual men, 10% of heterosexual women, and 9% of lesbian women, and the majority of these groups reported both desires and intentions to pursue parenthood (Riskind & Tornello, 2017).
Lesbian and gay individuals often experience heterosexist and gender harassment at work and can be fired from their jobs based on their sexual orientation in much of the U.S. (Rabelo & Cortina, 2014). Moreover, many states do not have housing protections for lesbian and gay individuals, and sexual minority individuals face housing discrimination throughout much of the country (Quartey, 2018). Hate crimes against lesbian and gay individuals have also sharply risen since 2016 (National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs, 2018). Moreover, research has found that lesbian and gay individuals have less supportive family relationships than heterosexual individuals (Patterson et al., 2018; Tate & Patterson, 2019b). Thus, it seems possible that lesbian and gay individuals might have different expectations than their heterosexual peers about their future prospects.”
Reproductive Identity — Aurélie M. Athan, 2020
“The advent of the Pill in the 1960s along with sociopolitical movements such as the sexual revolution and reproductive rights marked a significant turning point decoupling sex from reproduction. This unprecedented split both physiologically and philosophically has yielded advantages including new discourses on queerness and sexual pleasure as well as feminist emancipation from default motherhood and increased workforce entry (Peterson, 2015). In Western countries, sex for recreation rather than procreation has become acceptable for all ages, genders, and sexual orientations (van den Akker, 2012). A parallel liberalization of traditional family structures has also led to “transgressive compositions” that are more fluid, in flux, and heterogeneous than the once proclaimed and now disrupted ideal of the “nuclear family” (e.g., single mothers, step-siblings, same-sex marriage, transnational adoption; Gerson & Torres, 2015; Powell, Hamilton, Manago, & Cheng, 2016).
Changes brought about by individualism and secularism, improved access to education and employment, elongated life span and emergence into adulthood, gender equity and declines in partnering are opening up new frontiers (Bongaarts & Casterline, 2013; Zaidi & Morgan, 2017). While parenting used to be a given in most societies — an expected, perpetual consequence of heterosexual sex and an unquestioned life goal after the onset of puberty and marriage — it is now for the most part volitional. The fact that a broader range of people can choose to have children regardless of partnership status, postpone it to a later age, or abstain altogether and enjoy sex for its own sake, is indeed remarkable. Improvements in the social status of women have especially transformed how reproduction is performed and families are structured. LGBTQ communities once prevented from participating openly in marriage and family building, can now do so in creative ways (e.g., third party reproduction) with increased agency, support, and protection. This burgeoning era of gender, sexual and reproductive self-expression necessitates a new metaphor reflecting the freedom to write one’s own story. Marrying the term identity to reproduction may be an apt addition to the pantheon of other forms of self-realization and identity explorations. Furthermore, the clunky phrase of realizing reproductive intentions may be more simply stated as identity, befitting the primacy given to self-definition in today’s world.”
Athan, A. M. (2020). Reproductive identity: An emerging concept. American Psychologist, 75(4), 445.
Sidenotes (per usual)
Was the Real Lone Ranger a Black Man? — Thad Morgan, 2018 (February 1)
The amazing true story of Bass Reeves, the freed slave who protected the Wild West.
Cohen, A. B., & Tannenbaum, I. J. (2001). Lesbian and bisexual women’s judgments of the attractiveness of different body types. Journal of Sex Research, 38(3), 226–232.
Bisexual Women & Lesbians’ Preferred Waist To Hip Ratio — Cohen & Tannenbaum, 2001
Waist-to-hip ratio, which is an indication of the pattern of fat deposition on the body, is perhaps the best-researched characteristic in terms of its relation to attractiveness ratings. Female figures with low, typically feminine waist-to hip ratios (around 0.7) are rated more attractive than those with typically masculine waist-to-hip ratios (around 1.0). The similarity in ratings between men and women, and across cultures and ethnic groups, is quite striking (Furnham & Baguma, 1994; Furnham, Dias, & McClelland, 1998; Furnham, Tan, & McManus, 1997; Henns, 1995; Singh, 1993a, 1993b, 1994a, 1994b; Singh & Luis, 1995; Singh & Young, 1995; Tassinary & Hansen, 1998).
Older lesbians were interested in younger women while continuing to be interested in women their own ages and older (Kenrick, Keefe, Bryan, Barr, & Brown, 1995). Further, Bailey, Gaulin, Agyei, and Gladue (1994) found that lesbians were similar to heterosexual women in many areas of sexuality, such as lack of interest in uncommitted sex, emotional (rather than sexual) jealousy, and preference for older partners, but that lesbians were less concerned than heterosexual women with a partner’s financial status, and lesbians were more interested in visual sexual stimuli than heterosexual women.
Some studies suggest that females prefer small breasts to larger ones and that males prefer larger breasts than females do, although a few studies have shown little difference between men and women in ratings of different breast sizes (Beck, Ward-Hull, & McLear, 1976; Gitter, Lomranz, Saxe, & Bar-Tal, 1983; Horvath, 1981; Wiggins, Wiggins, & Conger, 1968).
Interestingly, women across cultures seem to want larger breasts than they have, and women seem to be dissatisfied if they perceive themselves as having small breasts (Arkoff & Weaver, 1966; Jourard & Secord, 1955; Koff & Benavage, 1998; Lee, Leung, Lee, Yu, & Leung, 1996; Thompson & Tantleff, 1992). Based on this latter set of findings, and the fact that women in general were shown to rate figures with large breasts more attractive than similar figures with small breasts (Singh & Young, 1995), we predicted that lesbian and bisexual women would prefer figures with large breasts to figures with small breasts.
Participants were found to rate women with larger breasts as more attractive than women with smaller breasts.
1st place = the most preferred figure was the one with a waist-to-hip ratio of 0.7, a heavy body weight, and large breasts.
2nd place = the second most preferred figure was the heavy figure with a waist-to-hip ratio of 0.7 and small breasts.
…lesbians have been shown by Beren, Hayden, Wilfley, and StriegelMoore (1997) to consider thinness and fitness important in attraction, and Bailey et al. (1997) also showed a preference for thinness among lesbian women.”
“We considered it important to investigate the preferences of bisexual women as well as those of lesbian women because bisexuality does appear to be a meaningful category apart from homosexuality (Loewenstein, 1985)”
Addendum
.7WtH ratio preferences among lesbians & bisexual women.
“Older lesbians were interested in younger women while continuing to be interested in women their own ages and older (Kenrick, Keefe, Bryan, Barr, & Brown, 1995).”
[And older is a significant deviation from the general preferences of bisexual men dating women & straight men. The last time in straight men’s lives when they prefer an older woman is when they’re teenagers & women 2–4 years older are more mature than women their age. Once males are about 18–20, and for the rest of their life, there’s a consistent preference for same age & younger women (with the preference for younger women increasing inversely as men get older).]
“Further, Bailey, Gaulin, Agyei, and Gladue (1994) found that lesbians were similar to heterosexual women in many areas of sexuality, such as lack of interest in uncommitted sex, emotional (rather than sexual) jealousy, and preference for older partners, but that lesbians were less concerned than heterosexual women with a partner’s financial status, and lesbians were more interested in visual sexual stimuli than heterosexual women.”
One of my favorite lines (and keep in mind this is a 2001 article): “We considered it important to investigate the preferences of bisexual women as well as those of lesbian women because bisexuality does appear to be a meaningful category apart from homosexuality (Loewenstein, 1985)”
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Cohen, A. B., & Tannenbaum, I. J. (2001). Lesbian and bisexual women’s judgments of the attractiveness of different body types. Journal of Sex Research, 38(3), 226–232.
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